ChloeRhiannonX

I am so very empty. 
But so very alive.

I have been on DeviantART for 7 years. How crazy is that? 

In this time time I have made a lot of friends. dA used to always be my go to hub for talking to everyone. I really miss those days. But I have been very lucky enough to meet 2 of my friends in person

I have changed in 7 years. 7 years ago I was 15 years old, just finishing year 10, terrified of my final year of school. Since then I've been through my GCSEs, attended 2 colleges, dropped out of the second college, had my first job, had my worst job, and found the right job for me

Travels have been to Disneyland 4 times, Cyprus, Egypt, and Australia. I'm going to Australia again this year, and New Zealand, and might be heading to New York next summer!!!

I'm in a much better place now than I ever thought I would be when I started this account, and I have so many people I can credit to helping me with that. I love you guys all so very much

&  

ps sorry for any awful formatting or spelling errors, writing journals on my phone is not as easy as I thought XP

it hit me really recently that i have no where to vent. 
i used to use these journals as a way to get all my anger and sadness out, but now i don't have anywhere. 
i don't do well talking to people direct s i'm sure most of you know that so i'm kinda just building everything up inside and i am about to explode.

life is going great.

i binge watched 13 reasons why on fri & sat, and it was incredible, everything i could have hoped for from one of my favourite books. but it left me in a depressive slump. 

this month is april, which means the 1st camp nano of the year. it's now the 4th and i haven't started writing yet. 

my parents have been on holiday for a week and they get back today and i am very much not looking forward to it. i can't wait until i'm able to move out.

my best news at the moment is i'm going back to australia! im gonna see maddi again and we're gonna go over to new zealand together and it's going to be the best thing ever. i'll be gone for 3 weeks in december. will sadly be home just before xmas. 

i don't really have much to vent about, but there's just so many little things that i feel the need to say but no actual outlet. 

writing a journal feels weird now. like this is something i used to do in a 'past life'. it doesn't fit into what i'm trying to be now. 

life goes on.

I've written this journal maybe four times since I came back from Australia, but every time I just kinda feel....bleh. Like no matter what I say I will never be able to actually describe how incredible my trip was.
But now Maddi has made a journal about it so I feel obligated to say nice things about her too. 

It has been 101 days since I got on a plane to Australia, and exactly 100 days since I got to meet Maddi in person. 

I was on the plane waiting for it to land. I hadn't long woken up from a nap and was pretty disorientated. I was watching Two Broke Girls, as you do. I didn't really full grasp that I was about to land in Australia.
When I got into the airport I only fucked up once because I can't read. 
I went through the do-it-yourself passport control thing which I have never done before, so that was exciting. 
I get through to baggage claim which was a fucking nightmare. At some point I found the wifi and was messaging Maddi who was an impatient fuck. Baggage claim was letting like ten suitcases through and then would stop for ten minutes. Then ten suitcases through and stop for ten minutes. It was just weird and stupid as fuck. Mine was luckily not the last, as I suspected it to be. I grabbed it (it was 29kg so by grabbed I mean almost knocked people out with), got in the queue for security, got yelled at by this bitch ass woman for being on my phone like the fuck??? I felt like I was in year 9 all-over again. 
Maddi told me to through Gate B, but on my side of the wall it said Gates 1, 2, 3, and you don't get to pick where you go, they look at your paper work and go "Gate 3".
So I went through Gate 3 which happened to be Gate A. I looked around but couldn't see Maddi anywhere, I literally walked in a circle for five minutes before I spotted her bright white jumper. She turned to see me, my instinct is to poke my tongue at her, she starts running, I abandon my bags, and we're hugging. She's hysterically crying. Her mum has the camera out and we re-do the hug four times. But it was amazing. 

The two weeks I got to spend with Maddi and her family and friends were some of the best times of my life. It's an experience I will never forget. It literally feels like a dream. 
I wish I could have stayed for longer. 
I wish I got to have more time with Maddi. 
It was such a surreal experience for me. I would love to do it again. 


I've been home since July 1st. Maddi gave me a cold to go home with so the plane rides home were the most painful thing in the world. I cried from the moment we said goodbye to the moment I got to Dubai (during the stop in Kuala Lumpa this woman came over and made sure I wasn't like dying or something, she gave me tissues. everyone gave me weird looks....), and after that I was just too tired and dehydrated to cry anymore.


Things feel different, I guess, since I've been home. Now that I've got to spend time with Maddi and know what she's like in person.... 

Love and miss you <3 

Exactly one week today I will be getting on a plane to Australia.

It's completely insane and I don't think it's really hit me that holy fuck I'm flying all the way to Australia! By myself! 

On Sunday it was 100 days since we started all of this and now we're only a week away. 

I've got 90% of things sorted! All my clothes are ready and laid out. I've already started packing all the essentials into my suitcase and I'm gonna start building it up over the next 6 days. I have a few decisions left to make on what is going in my hand-luggage, need to decide which tablet I'm taking and what books, etc.

I am starting to get just a little nervous now. It's not some distant far-off thing, this happening. In one week. In less than a week! This time next week I will have just finished my lay-over in Dubai and be getting onto my second long-ass flight of the day. 

(I can't believe I'm flying all the way to Australia just to punch ificantflyletmesing in the face for trying to get me to read ebooks)

Other updates in my life:

Work is still work. We won't discuss :/
I have managed to break two out of two of my laptops. yay.
I was completely home alone for five days over the weekend and now I miss the peace and quiet.
I GOT A HAMSTER!!! His name is Clarence. He's such a lil shit.
I became a chocolate hoarder. 
My mother hoovered up a second pair of my headphones and refused to pay for them. 
I became addicted to candles.
I binge watched Scrubs and started watching Gossip Girl.
I went to Disneyland Paris again! I took 80 pictures the entire four days and they're almost all selfies
I got my hair ombre'd a sandy blonde and it looks amazing!

Oh yeah and I turNED TWENTYONE WOOHOO
It's actually not that exciting but I had an okay-ish birthday. It was good by my birthday standards, I guess. 
Mam has still not understood that I hate surprise parties and when I say 'quiet night' she thinks I mean party but still.


&